Over the years I have given my wife many little handwritten stories, they are usually accompanied by characters, all of them were written in one continuous stream of consciousness. Enjoy. -JR

As a praying Mantis, I am always at a bar. Always taking it easy, enjoying life, but sometimes I need to be serious, like the time my beetle fell out of the third floor window. FYI, beetles are like cats to us. We keep them in our homes for joy. Anyway, Beany, my beatle broke to legs, serious day. Everyone is like why are leaning back this isn’t a casual Friday. But alas I could do nothing about it. Aside from go to the bar, get a drink, and lean against it. This also explains the Praying Mantis’ aggressive problems with alcohol. More than 26,000 praying mantis’ struggle and die from alcohol related problems every year. It’s a serious issue. The smile on my face masks serious sadness and pain. But hey Happy Birthday! I hope it’s better than my life with Beany.

Beany here. First, I want to just address the fact that yes I can talk, I am a pet, us beatles have a really good working relationship with the mantis. That being said, I saw the comments made about the drinking, which I felt was extremely exaggerated. Yes, they have an issue with the spirits, but talk about melodrama. We have a gym membership, we’re fine. And on your birthday, just straight out inappropriate. Happy Birthday by the way. So please, be aware of the problem, but don’t let it worry you that much.